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I`m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers.
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15ā¦.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Iām holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
I just ran a .003048K
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.