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Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!