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Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
When ever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth and drink all the rum inside. It seems to help.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.