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A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.