Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.