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Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!