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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"