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Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.