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Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
For Christmas I just want summer...
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.