Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
I need a new bad decision.