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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better. Well…for me anyway.
Long story short, I love summaries.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
take me drunk i`m home
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>