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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
If you pour two beers in one glass, it`s just one beer.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!