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Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.