Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.