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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Elderly people used to always nudge me at weddings and say "You`re next."What got them to stop is when............I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.