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It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
Iām giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.