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The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.