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Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
I try not to limit my madness to March.
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.