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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Save time. See it my way.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..