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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.