Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
The first sign of laziness:
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.