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As I said before, I never repeat myself.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
Inspirational status: Today’s probably going to suck. Don’t be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.