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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
It’s not pretty being easy.