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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.