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I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/