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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
Safe words are for quitters.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.