Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes all you need is $100,000
It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.