Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don`t know what I`m gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It`s a mystery
Flies are everywhere, unfortunately the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.