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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
Vodka is just amazing water.
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.