Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
My bank called because they noticed ‘highly suspicious activity’ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.