Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.