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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
"Don`t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
I think eating is my kind of sport.
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
This patience thing takes forever.
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.