Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.