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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me