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If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Me: "Sorry I`m late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn`t go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."