Daily Silly Status

Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.

superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.

Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?

Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.

Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.

Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”

There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..

North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))

Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!

I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button

When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)

I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it

When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.