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I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
My favorite beer is an open one.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...