Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
This headache feels like dumb people
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..