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Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.