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I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
Iβm not stealing my neighborβs WiFiβ¦their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
I think, therefore i`m single.
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?