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I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
I think, therefore i`m single.
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?