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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P