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I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
I`m always surprised how quickly "you`re so funny" turns into "everything is a fcuking joke to you." (usually about 3 months)
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
awesome collection!
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of