Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
βIβll be speaking with my lawyerβ is the adult version of saying βI`m telling momβ
If you donβt want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
Multitasking? Iβm not even good at unitasking.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.