Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Plan B includes margaritas.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
Mondays are middle finger approved
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.