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I just called. To say. I texted you.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."