Daily Silly Status

I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.

Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?

To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!

"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"

When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.

I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.

Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?

What kind of wine goes best with laundry?

In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.

I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.

The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".

Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...

I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."