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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.