Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for 2?” I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.