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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.