Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Little to no thought was put into this status.
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
And I was like “No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi.” And she was all “Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies.”