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I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
What’s the answer to this question?
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.