Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
Word to the wise - make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an a$$hole.
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."