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There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
God is creative... I mean look at me??
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
Facebook, the lost and found for people. . .
Walmart needs observation decks.
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"