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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
status uploading
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.