Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".