Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.