Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?