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That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
is spending my children´s inheritance.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.